This High Volume Wine Dispenser Is The Machine Alcoholics Dream Of

I’m a fan of wine and find myself somewhere in the middle of the crowd of wine connoisseurs.

I couldn’t tell you the difference between a 2009 Corison Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon and a 2010 Round Pond Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon, but I’ve partied at enough sorority houses to know the difference between a decent glass of wine and a glass of boxed Franzia. I’m lookin’ at you ladies of Alpha Chi Omega!

With all of that in mind, a machine has been invented that seemingly finds the balance between these two states, and it’s called the ePour.

The ePour system is basically a Keurig in terms of execution, dispensing a predetermined amount of wine into a wine glass (or some other sort of cup, depending on how shitty your day was) while maintaining a balance between pumping, temperature and portion control, all in the name of consistent quality.

The ePour system would help reduce the amount of time restaurant bartenders spend on pouring wine, along with saving time and money on training servers and minimizing waste.

It all sounds nice and dandy, but there are some drawbacks.

Firstly, it’s safe to assume that many of the higher end restaurants won’t be interested in this type of technology, especially esteemed steakhouses. A big part of wine consumption is the presentation of the wine. If all I have to go off of is the menu, then really all I know about the wine is the name and the price. Sometimes I want to read where it came from, or why it’s special, or see the alcohol percentage. It seems that with this system, those options are limited at best.

Secondly, the cleaning and maintenance of these machines is ridiculously extensive. There are roughly 21 steps to the cleaning process, which is required every time you put a new bag of wine into the receptacle. I don’t know about you, but I’m so lazy when it comes to cleaning things that I avoid making them dirty in the first place. I’m a “sleep on top of the covers so I don’t have to make the bed tomorrow” kinda guy. So the thought of spending at least 25 minutes cleaning it every time I want to put a new bag of wine in makes me want to go slap a bag of Franzia Sunset Blush, chug from the spout and call it a day.

In the end, the idea itself is very clever and could potentially save vendors thousands yearly, and it will hopefully manifest into something more efficient and convenient one day. But for now, good old-fashioned bottles, boxes and bags will have to do.

Check out video of its early development below, complete with early 90s jazz music:

Photo Credit: ePour Technologies