Watch Buzzfeed’s Definitive Guide to Trading Candy

Sometimes working in web news, it’s hard to swallow when another site scoops a killer story, but even we can’t deny Buzzfeed’s new “Guide to Trading Candy” is awesome.

It’s relevant. It’s deadpan. It’s surprisingly insightful for anyone who’s pondered the connection between someone’s favorite candy and their budding career. (Hint: dark chocolates are future bosses, wax lip-ers will be prostitutes.)

A few other highlights:
-Good & Plenties are not unicorn eggs, as discovered by one poor baby sister who traded her whole candy stash for a box of them.
-Black black no trades back, unless you’re a baby or an old guy.
-“If you’d like to download a PDF version of this chart, please look in your butt.”

Touché, Buzzfeed. Touché.

More content

Eating Out
Taco Bell Is Making A Much Bigger Push Into Energy Drinks
Taco Bell is getting increasingly serious about becoming your afternoon caffeine plug. The chain has launched three new energy drinks nationwide, each packing 120 milligrams…
,
Culture
Wiz Khalifa And His Mom Explain The Pittsburgh Food Tradition The Rest Of Us Are Missing
It’s been over 15 years now since Wiz Khalifa made Kush & OJ an aspirational lifestyle that we all could achieve just by matching his…
,
Products
Reese’s Puffs Just Turned A Classic Lunchbox Combo Into Its Newest Flavor
Reese’s has announced a new addition to its Reese’s Puffs cereal line, and this time, it’s inspired by the nostalgic flavor of Reese’s PB&J Cups,…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox