The Foodbeast Definitive Fast Food Burger Tier List

Only here at Foodbeast would we decide to go ahead and rank every fast food burger in America. We are like the burger senate, except we are actually gonna finish what we start. This definitive list is data driven and sound. It’s 100% reliable and you should trust us — we know what we are talking about.

Let’s first get into how the tier list works. It is categorized into seven tiers — “S” being the highest, most superior burger. Followed by; A, B, C, D, Existential Crisis and L (you know for loser, liar, lame, etc.) You can watch our stream on Twitch here where we built the list together live. But let me just give you a little recap of the flagrant burger TED Talk.

Starting with the Ultimate Double Cheeseburger from Sonic. Sonic’s a vibe. He’s a classic old guy. One could say these are the best burgers in America definitively. It’s a burger that looks like it was built at the Costco food court and we aren’t mad at it. For this it earns a “C” ranking.

Up next, The Whopper from Burger King. We are classifying it as phenomenal but way too much mayo. Like hella mayo. We can’t get over the mayo. Not to mention a fly flew out of the bag when we opened it. Classy. It’s a “B” for us, dawg.

Now, the Wendy’s Baconator. We’d first like to applaud Wendy’s on the thickness of their patties, it’s something any man could be proud of. We are officially renaming it the “Toxic Masculinity Burger” — no explanation needed. This gets a “C.”

Which brings us to Five Guys. Let’s just say this is a burger you wanna eat with the lights off. The burger is the worst thing on the menu. Although the french fries are the best you will ever eat in your lifetime and the syrupy Coca-Cola is *chefs kiss*. The burgers looks like not even prison food but the prison under the prison food. They can take an “L”, respectfully.

On deck is Carl’s Jr.’s Western Bacon Cheeseburger. This burger is a pioneer, a Neil Armstrong if you will. It is one small step for Carl’s Jr. and one large leap for burger kind. It did the burger version of breaking the internet by revolutionizing the industry. It just hits and deserves it’s well-established “A.”

Following up is the Big Mac from McDonald’s. It feels like you are biting into a piece of history and itshould reside in a museum for being so iconic. But we swear by the Quarter Pounder at an “A.” Fight us.

We’re now at Jollibee’s Big Yum Burger. They have the coolest fast food options you can find. The burger was surprisingly fire. Philippines, rejoice at a “C.”

Here we are at Shake Shack. This place operates like a tech company. They are like the Silicon Valley of burgers. They are intriguing, deeper, more woke. It all translates to being flat out delicious. They warrant an “A.”

Landing next is Fatburger, or in other words, a better Sonic. We’ve come to the conclusion that being slightly crusty is part of their brand. We love when you have to ask for a key to use the restroom. They definitely serve a body positive burger. She thick. She’s a “B.”

What’s good, Del Taco? First off, they are the Russell Westbrook of service. They are always there to hold you down at 3am. It’s our late night booty call. They definitely do not get their flowers for the fresh ingredients, though. We don’t care if it’s regional bias, they rightfully get a “B.”

Here we go, Mr. Beast Burger. Not only is this concept innovative but creator-owned. These burgers have nowhere to call home and you are for sure at the mercy of the kitchen in which it is being prepared, but that hasn’t effected the taste. We can’t wait to see where this concept is in a couple years. Congratulations, you’ve earned a “B.”

Ah, White Castle. They think they are that guy. They are not him. That’s all. Sorry not sorry about the “D.”

And now Jack In The Box, the Cheesecake Factory of fast food. Everything here is satisfying. The Sourdough Jack has a criminal amount of mayo and tomatoes that move around like tectonic plates but I’m still ordering it every damn time. It’s a justified “A.”

Last but absolutely not least, the In-N-Out Double Double. The golden child. The best piece of fast food you can find anywhere. The Michael Jordan of burgers. It’s the only chain restaurant where the food actually looks like the promo photos. It never disappoints. Perfection. It’s the God of all burgers and rightly sits at the top of our tier with the only “S” ranking.

Watch the full breakdown the The Definitive Fast Food Burger Tier List here. In fact, download your own tier and let us know what you think. You’re likely wrong, but it’s worth a try.