Semen Cocktails Are a Real Thing, Just Don’t Bring Your Gag Reflex

The title alone, Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook, might make your throw up in your mouth a little. Written by Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer, as a follow-up to his 2011 cookbook Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes, “Semenology” delves into the world of bartending with human semen. The pages detail (with colored photos too!) everything from  the Galliano Cum Shot to the  Slightly Saltier Caviar. Don’t those just sound delectable?

The author describes his compilation of semen-friendly recipes as “the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits.” Although, before you completely dismiss the idea of sipping on a cold glass of tequila-infused man sauce, Photenhauer argues: “People eat all kinds of weird shit. Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is… at least it’s fresh and you know who the producer is.”

He continues to explain that the intricate flavor of semen is comparable to the subtleties of wine or cheese, adding a “personal touch” to your recipe. Of course, Photenhauer stresses that he would personally never eat or drink semen from someone he wasn’t interested in having sex with.

For those of you not yet ready to try a new twist to that Pisco Sour, we suggest going about sexytime the old fashioned way and ordering your daily dose of protein “neat.”

Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook $20 @Amazon

H/T SF Weekly