Drunk Woman Blows .33 Yet Still Escapes A DUI, Thanks To A Doctor’s Note

Could you imagine walking around drunk all day, every day, for the rest of your life? It sounds great, I know, but the fear of that cumulative hangover is the stuff of nightmares, on acid.

One New York resident actually managed to finagle her way out of a DUI by claiming that she wasn’t actually drunk from drinking, that she was just drunk on life. Literally.

When pulled over after swerving all over the road, the lady (we’ll call her Jenny Drunkass) told officers that she only had four drinks over the span of six hours, despite clocking in a whopping .33 BAC, or “blood alcohol content.”

Jenny Drunkass claims to suffer from something called Gut Fermentation Syndrome, more commonly known as ‘auto-brewery syndrome.’ According to the Wikipedia page, people suffering from ABS deal with an abnormality in their stomachs that causes them to ferment their food and drinks into ethanol, which in turn gets them crunk.

While Jenny exhibits a few signs of drunkenness (such as slurring and dizziness), her overall demeanor definitely doesn’t tell the story of a woman who blew a .33. Those kinds of numbers would put a 6’3″, 240 lb man on his ass real quick. I seent it.

Jenny Drunkass isn’t clear of danger just yet though. According to Buffalo News, prosecutors intend to appeal and have the case reopened, although the district attorney declined to comment.

Best of luck to you, Drunkass!

Image Source: Joseph Burke Law, The Telegraph