Hooligans across the nation begin to stockpile Four Loko drink
We’ve been reporting on the Four Loko madness for weeks now, we’re almost positive, in our extremely professional [/sarcasm] opinion, its hype is reaching its peak. With the creator Phusion Projects announcing the permanent removal of caffeine, taurine and guarana from its Four Loko line, liquor store owners and retailers a like are going through their last shipments of alcoholic drinks containing any traces of caffeine. Four Loko in particular will begin shipping out without caffeine, and consumers are starting to take note.
There have been various reports of customers stockpiling the soon-to-be-coveted drink (in its original, caffeinated form). In the spirit of proper journalism, we decided to head to our local liquor store to make sure they were out of stock of the alcohol+caffeine beverage, and if they weren’t, we were determined to empty them of their supply.
Here we go. The friendly liquor store owner informed us that this was indeed the last shipment and subsequent supply of Lokos that he had (in its original caffeinated state). We’ve heard too many stories of underage kids getting “too Loko” on these drinks, even one kid who accidentally shot himself after allegedly drinking some Four Loko.
His family is now suing Phusion Projects. By eliminating this particular liquor store’s supply of Four Loko, we are attempting to save the life of another child who may get too LOKO for his own good.
We took one shelf supply out, filled a box, and had the fellas in charge restock so we could do it again. The government doesn’t want these bad boys on the shelves, so we’re doing our part.
Problem solved.
Now what to do with a table full of Loko? Do you have a picture of your own Four Loko stockpile, or a friend’s stockpile, or one you’ve seen on the Internet that you want to claim as your own!? Feel free to submit a tip, @foodbeast us or Facebook us! We’d love to see it!
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THESE JUST IN:
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(Sent in from: Faizel R.)
Editor’s Note: This is not a real piece of journalism. Drink responsibly.
Editor’s Note #2: We also have no additional proof of anyone stock piling. Just some random tweets that there are no more Four Lokos at various 7-Elevens and Liquor Stores. We are the epitome of dedicated journalism.