Filet Mignon Jerky Coated in 23 Karat Gold and Chipotle Adobo

When we heard that the guys of Three Jerks were working on making filet mignon beef jerky a real thing, two things crossed our mind. The first: It’s about damn time. The second: Yes. Please. And all of it. (The Third: That’s what she said.)

The idea behind their next-level jerky concept was to find the “highest quality, purest and most delicious jerky.” After an entire year of testing out a variety of different cuts, these self-proclaimed jerks and die-hard foodies decided that only highly-coveted bits of tenderloin would do.

“The result is an aristocrat amongst plebeians- choice meat and dazzling flavors that create incomparable beef jerky. To insist that our beef jerky is delectable would be putting it modestly. We apologize in advance for shocking your senses and rendering all other jerky unpalatable,” the dudes eloquently explain on Kickstarter.

Curious, we had them send over some samples to try.

The Original

Alright. We gotta hand it to them. This stuff makes your standard gas-station jerky look like edible chew toys. It’s not only good but oh-so tender. The jerky is thicker than most and tears off easily, so you’re not playing tug-of-war with your teeth. The Original taste is more sweet than salty, with a pleasant hint of pepper. The fact that you’re eating dehydrated filet mignon is obvious in both texture and taste.

Chipotle Adobo

This is where it’s at. Maybe I’m biased to this flavor due to its distinct Filipino marinade (reminds me of mama’s cookin’), but this was definitely my favorite of the bunch. The sweet, vinegar taste of the Filipino marinade blended effortlessly with the smoky pepper flavor of the Chipotle glaze.

Behold: the stuff of daydreams.

Memphis BBQ

Nope. While the overload of cayenne was definitely the promised kick “in the back of the mouth,” I’ve decided that such a sensation isn’t pleasant in the least bit.

Midas Touch (below)

Sadly, we didn’t get to try this one. Probably because it’s filet mignon coated in 23 Karat gold. We’re guessing it tastes like Rick James shouting, “I’m rich, b*tch!” while petting a really expensive Persian cat.

Check out Three Jerks Jerky and their Kickstarter campaign here.