Woman Tweets Her Accidental Coffee Date With A Creepy 97-Year-Old Man
You don’t always get the advertised product when it comes to dating apps. People can easily lie about their appearance with false photos, withhold information about themselves, or portray a fake life altogether, all for the chance that they’ll score a date with an unsuspecting human on the other side of the screen.
Priya Alika Elias found this out the hard way, recalling a very odd OKCupid date she had recently, as she had no idea the man she agreed to have coffee with was a somewhat perverted 97-year-old man.
i didn’t KNOW he was OLD. he had one of those okcupid pictures of like, the side of his face looking toward a mountain. you know those ones
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
Apparently there was nothing on his profile alluding to the man’s age being in the elderly range as he had a photo of himself from behind, staring off into the distance. His profile made him seem like an adventurous traveler, and intrigued her.
but his profile was interesting. he had written dozens of paragraphs about all the places he’d been too. but not in a braggy way ya know
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
They hit it off, and agreed to meet at a coffee shop.
i say “let’s just get coffee instead?”
he says okay
so i go to the cafe around six
it’s snowing like a motherfucker outside— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
Once they arrived at the coffee shop, and she learned he was about three generations older than her, she did the decent thing and stuck around.
we are not talking old like your dad. we are not talking old like George Clooney. we are not talking old like “doesn’t get memes” old
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
She learned that he was on OKCupid because he was “writing a book and wanted to put something in about social media these days.”
he gives me the most innocuous answer you can give anyone “i’m writing a book & i wanted to put something in about social media these days”
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
Interesting excuse, and a cute story, up until he said:
“I live two blocks down and I don’t really use my dick a lot, but the women have told me they prefer my mouth.”
I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT. I BLACKED OUT. SOMETIMES THE HUMAN BODY DOES THAT, TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM TRAUMA
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
__________
i mean i know i did SOMEthing – laughed in a high pitch? excused myself? PAID FOR THE TEA, EVEN?- but we will never know what it was
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
DAMN! Shoot your shot, grandpa!
The date couldn’t have ended any creepier and it led Priya to delete her OKCupid account for good.
I went home, took a bath, and deleted my Okcupid account -FIN
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
Even the most innocent of coffee dates can turn in an instant, but she seemed to be a good sport about it, and the dirty elderly man had a new chapter for his book.
