5 Candies US Citizens Will NEVER Get To Experience

Why is it that we always want what we can’t have? An even better question — why is it that the best things in life are illegal? Of course, I’m referring to banned junk foods in the U.S.

Whether or not you are aware, there are indeed certain foods which we can’t legally purchase in the States, due to various laws and regulations. Sucks I know, but…there are always loopholes right? (cough cough, Ebay, cough cough). You can even take a more adventurous alternative and start planning your next trip to a place where they are legal, as well as how you’ll strategically smuggle them into your suitcase. 

Kinder Eggs

kindereggs Photo Credit: Toys Unpack

The chocolate eggs filled with miniature toys and prizes inside are considered today’s equivalent of “Wonder Balls” in the ‘90s. Both were banned in the U.S.—there’s a 1938 federal law which bans toys and non-edible objects from being embedded within food products since it proves to be a choking hazard.

However, not only are Kinder Eggs a choking a hazard, but they also retain slightly addictive characteristics. Extreme emphasis is put on collecting all the different eggs of various limited edition series. Even simple YouTube videos of people unwrapping and unveiling the prizes inside Kinder Surprise Eggs go for hundreds of billions of views; kids just can’t get enough!

Tim Tams

Photo Credit: slgckgc Photo Credit: slgckgc

With 3,000 Tim Tams produced per minute in Sydney, Australia alone, these rich, chocolaty cookies are the world’s most popular chocolate biscuit per capita. At one point, Pepperidge Farm distributed their own version of Tim Tams in Targets across the US. Now, you can find packages of the original Arnott’s Tim Tams at your local grocery store.

Though they may not be banned officially, people have definitely spoken out in recent years against the cookie’s possibly cancerous ingredients, which include the artificial additives Tartrazine #102, Sunset Yellow #110, Allura Red #129, Brilliant Blue #133, and Caramel #150 (found in the chocolate coating). These are all claimed to be suspect carcinogens, which has U.S. health officials thinking the biscuits should be modified. Until then, you can always live off the knock off versions which omit the dangerous ingredients. 

Lucas Mexican Candy

Believe it or not, candy-snorting is an actual activity kids participate in. Powdery candies like spicy-sugary Mexican Lucas candy give the perfect consistency to make the term “nose candy” dangerously literal.

Additionally, there are murmurs that the candy is powerful enough to make a stomach bleed (possibly because of spiciness, possibly because of a rumored dosage of lead) but hey, pain is gain..?

The Lazy Larry

Photo Credit: https://twitter.com/LazyLarrys/media Photo Credit: https://twitter.com/LazyLarrys/media

Also known as “Lazy Cakes” and “wannabe pot brownies” these cakes contain a small amount of melatonin, a hormone that affects the body’s sleep-wake cycle to make one feel more drowsy than normal. Though the amount of melatonin in the cakes is pretty harmless for adults, it can make a child fall into a scary deep sleep.

Lazy Larry’s contain about 8 mg of melatonin. The controversial ingredient is also found in “relaxation drinks” with names like like “Unwind,” “Vacation in a Bottle,” and “iChill.” Ultimately it’s hard to say what ever happened to the Lazy Larry. After the FDA threatened to seize the product due to its unsafe ingredients and misleading marketing styles, it’s all but disappeared.

Candy Cigarettes

Photo Credit: Phillip Stewart Photo Credit: Phillip Stewart

Obviously, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to guess why these fake cancer sticks were banned. Bubblegum candy cigs have been heavily criticized throughout the years since they more or less encourage children to “smoke up” from an early age.

Early “cigarettes” were marketed with slogans suggesting they were merely for play, such as “Now you can look just like dad!” Words like these may have seemed harmless at the time, but recent studies conducted have clearly linked bubblegum cig usage to actual cig usage. Maybe it’s better to let this bubble burst.

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