If you live in Los Angeles, CA, or Las Vegas, NV, there are strip clubs that do not sell alcohol if their entertainers are, well, fully exposed. Some clubs might get away with a nipple here and there, but if the young lady has absolutely nothing but heels on, don’t expect to drink much more than a Coke, or O’Doul’s. Of course, not all customers are happy with this kind of prohibition, and as most do these days, they take to Yelp to express themselves.

Without further ado, here are 16 hilarious responses to not being able to drink at fully-nude strip clubs.

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He Wants a Beer with His Nipples –4Play, Los Angeles

There is no booze served on account of the fact that you can see nipples in this fine establishment. If there is a more retarded law, please let me know. I thought the whole reason alcohol is perennially popular is because it can increase your chance to see nipples.-Tyler W.

Tyler offers a solution, though:

…Grab a small bottle of The Captain and add a little (or a lot, I don’t judge) to the $6 Cokes you are ordering. Do it subtly so they don’t have to kick your dumb-ass out.

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Bush Over Booze -4Play, Los Angeles

A strip club without booze? That’s like decaf coffee or non-alcoholic beer. I think it’s like the law or something. If I can see bush, or the area where bush once existed, then I can’t have booze.-Christopher S.

Christopher also offered a helpful solution to this prohibition:

Yelpers. Please, write your congressman and ask that they change the law so I can see pink and drink a vodka soda at the same time.

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Not Cool, Bro -4Play, Los Angeles

The City of LA, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that if an entertainer gets completely naked at a club, then the place can’t serve alcohol. In a normal strip club, you would just get two overpriced $6 Miller Lites… here you have to buy like a $6 O’Doul’s or Red Bull, which ain’t cool. –Ryan B.

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All in Favor, Say ‘Shubangabang’ -4Play, Los Angeles

No alcohol = the whole shubangabang. Results: these girls know what they’re doing. –Jenn H.

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It’s Look in the Mirror Time -4Play, Los Angeles

I think that it makes everything seem more creepy because the men who are actually drooling aren’t doing it because they are drunk. – Charlie Sheena S.

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Shots Fired –Deja Vu, Los Angeles

There is no alcohol (California, BOO), and most of the girls are butterfaces. –Masa K.

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Hit ‘Em with the Okie Doke -Deja Vu, Los Angeles

Get to the door and ask if there’s alcohol. Cashier says yes. They bring out a bottle to our VIP. Sip it and it’s f***ing apple cider. –Asia Z.

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Sarcastic Much? –Spearmint Rhino, Los Angeles

It’s the nicest strip club in downtown LA, but doesn’t serve food, alcohol and plays an eclectic mix of ’80s and ’90s popular hits with the DJ offering his endless wisdom in between songs. –John N.

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That Crazy Chick Tho -Spearmint Rhino, Los Angeles

Like all full nude clubs in Los Angeles, there is no alcohol to be had here… I probably won’t be coming back. Not even for the crazy chick. –The Grumpster J.

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18-year-olds: I Keep Getting Older, but They Stay the Same Age –My Little Darlings, Las Vegas

They don’t serve alcohol, but their dancers can be age 18 – 20, whereas in gentlemen clubs serving alcohol, all the dancers have to be 21 and over. –Chan L.

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We’ll Just Go Next Door -Little Darlings, Las Vegas

Though there was one very dexterous girl who was impressive, it was mostly depressed girls on their phones. We went over to Treasures and had a way better time. With alcohol. –Nick H.

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Just Pre-Game, Bro -Talk of the Town, Las Vegas

Just get drunk before you go. Or there is a bar across the street. And your cover is good all day/night, so you can leave and come back. –Nick A.

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Thanks for the Breakdown, Pops –Talk of the Town, Las Vegas

I know, I know… you’re saying… why is that a GOOD thing? 1) You can drive here, and drive home without risking a DUI. 2) You’ll be able to keep your inhibitions, enabling you to say no on occasion. 3) You won’t be sick the following morning. and 4) You’ll actually be able to REMEMBER what you saw. 🙂 I mean, seriously… you can drink alcohol almost anywhere on the strip as it is. Use this time to help yourself sober up. –Eric K.

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