14 Food Delivery Tales That Are Weird, Terrifying, And Downright Disgusting

Once a former pizza deliver boy, I know there can be some pretty weird experiences while dropping off food to customers late into the night.

A recent question was posted on Reddit, asking food delivery people what were some of the weirdest deliveries they’ve ever had to make. Some of these tales are odd, others hilarious, and some are downright terrifying.

You can check out the highlights from the thread below. As with everything else found on Reddit, be sure to take these stories with a grain of salt.

Enjoy, and make sure to tip your food deliverers appropriately!

“Willis is in the dog food again!”

Amish family dinner

Delivered 30 pizzas to an Amish family. About a 35 minute drive. The entire family met me outside to grab a pizza. I took the rest in and followed them inside to their dining table. The elder of the family gestured to me to sit down with them and he pointed to the one open seat. I realized that they saved me a seat to eat with them.

I didn’t know too much about the Amish back then, and I wasn’t sure how rude it would be to say that in working and couldn’t/shouldn’t. I was also thinking on the other hand they could have killed me (remember I wasn’t an educated 16 year old). So I sat down and ate two slices of pepperoni pizza with them. I found the girl across the table to be very attractive. They said a prayer of some sort and didn’t talk much after that. Just asked my name and how thankful they were for me to drive all that way. I finally had to get back to work. They didn’t tip, which was fine.

I enjoyed the time with them.

Undies

Mid to late 50-year-old man comes to the door in an opened towel robe wearing Spider-Man undies.

I was a Chinese food delivery girl back in high school.

This gentleman opened the door very casually and honestly, I didn’t think much of his undies.

What was really funny was from the other room I hear what I assumed to be his wife call out, “Is that Chinese or Pizza? Did I win?!”

The man saw the white plastic bag and sighed. “You won!”

As he was closing the door after giving a generous tip all I could hear was a celebratory woooh from the woman.

The baddest of the bunch

I once delivered pizza to what seemed like a gang house. I pulled up and there are all these intimidating dudes with tattoos and bandanas all wearing the same colored clothes. I puckered up and felt my scrotum shrivel as I awkwardly shuffled past them with a bunch of pizzas to ring the doorbell.

They were all staring me down and it felt like the longest walk ever.

The person who ordered the pizza must have been the head honcho because he looked like the baddest of the bunch. The total was like $70 and he gave me a $100 bill and told me to keep the change.

I bolted out of there and returned back to the pizza place on autopilot because I was so scared.

Not one to ruin a good time…

I delivered pizza to a house, the instructions said to open the gate and go into the backyard and knock on the back door. Now, I was really early. I showed up at their door probably about 12-15 minutes after they had placed the order as we were very slow. As I entered the backyard, I heard really loud moaning coming from the open window and realized the customers were having sex.

I’m not the one to ruin a good time, so I decided to wait until they finished before I knocked on the door. I just stood there in their backyard with a pizza in my hand for a good 10 minutes. One of their neighbors heard what was going on and saw me in there and decided to pop outside and just stand there staring at me the whole time making sure that I’m not stealing anything.

Anyway, most awkward 10 minutes of my life.

The splash zone

A man answered the door in a robe. The robe was closed, but I guess he wasn’t wearing underwear, because as we’re exchanging money, a stream of piss starts to fall between his legs and right onto his own carpet. He doesn’t seem to notice, or just doesn’t care.

I take a big step back out of the splash zone, and he just keeps making small talk while it’s happening.

This is a robbery

I know of a kid who was a drug addict that had pizza delivered to his house. Once he heard the doorbell, he walked out his back door with a ski mask on and robbed the delivery driver in front of his own home. After that, he walked back around the home and opened the front door from inside pretending to be surprised that the guy was robbed.

Idiot ended up getting arrested but it was the worst plan ever hatched by someone I knew.

“Coming!”

I was delivering a pizza and after I knocked on the door I heard a far away voice yell “Coming!” so I waited. After about a minute I hear the same voice a little closer yell “Almost there just wait!”

This continues for several minutes, with the voice coming closer and closer until the person finally reaches the door and opens it. I’m expecting to see someone at eye level, however instead I’m greeted by a smiling person on the floor who had no legs and dragged themselves across the house to answer the door.

I offered to put the pizza inside for them in the kitchen and they were pretty appreciative

Full of weird shit

So I delivered like five pizzas to this guy once. I had to ring the doorbell several times before he came to the door. When he got there he didn’t really say anything except to come on in real quick.

Now you aren’t supposed to go in people’s houses but I decided who cares I can defend myself. I get inside this guy’s huge house and i’ts full of weird shit. There was a full suit of armor right by the door, and somewhere he had this Halloween CD playing creepy, deep voiced laughs.

While he’s searching for his wallet the biggest dog I’ve ever seen walks up to me and falls at my feet pushing me over. So I’m sitting next to a suit of armor petting this huge-ass dog waiting for this middle-aged man to pay me.

He gave me a $40 tip.

“Let him keep the rest!”

I delivered pizzas for a few years in college.

One of my deliveries to a hotel had a guy answer the door in nothing but boxers and a beanie. We trade money for pizza and as I give him his change, I hear another guy yell, unseen, from behind the corner, “If he’s cute, let him keep the rest!” The guy at the door hands me back the change and smiles.

I wasn’t sure how to react, so I just turned and left.

Photo: Constantine Spyrou

Completely naked

I was a delivery boy for an Asian restaurant for a while. Had a delivery down a sketchy, very bumpy road in the back of my small town near all these trailers. When they answered the door, there was a 50-60 year old lady standing completely naked in front of me, as well as two men of the same age sitting on the couch with their dongs out, again, completely naked.

I obviously got out of there as fast as possible. I took her signature and nearly ran away. She yelled at me through the window “Come inside with us!” And I said “Fuck no!” as I was walking away, and she proceeded to curse at me as I jogged back to my car.

Imaginary money

The guy who answered the door looked like he had just seen a ghost and was a little jittery so I’m pretty sure he was on some kind of drugs.

Anyways, he hands me $10 for a $15 bill and tries to go back inside really quick. I realize that he didn’t hand me enough money so I knock on the door and tell the guy he still owed me like $5 dollars so he starts patting his pockets and finally pulls his hand out to as if to give me more money but has nothing in his hand.

He extended his hand to give me this imaginary money and was visually surprised when I wasn’t fooled by his trickery.

The guy does this two or three more times before having me call my manager to attempt to use his card to pay even though I’m sure he knew it wouldn’t work. At this point, he goes back inside because he “just heard his roommate come in” and is going to “borrow money from him.”

So I wait, and I wait until I knock again. The guy cracks the door, sees it’s me, and closes the door again really quick like he was surprised I didn’t go away. Eventually after about 10 minutes of annoyance and feeling like I might get stabbed I told the guy I either needed money or the food, which he reluctantly gave back.

All in all a very strange experience.

“Keep the change, pal”

This is definitely one of the most memorable deliveries I had when I worked as a driver for this Japanese restaurant.

It was sent to this house with an order of a steak hibachi and a couple of sushi rolls that added up to something like $19.60. I liked to call before I got to a place, just to give people a bit of a heads up, so by the time I got to the door it was already open. In the doorway stood a chubby kid, about 9 or 10 years old that reminded me a lot of the kid from Bad Santa, but without the curly hair.

I tell him the total as I pass off his food. He hands me a $20 bill and with a straight face he smugly says, “Keep the change, pal.” Immediately after, he closes the door and I stood there for a second trying to process what just happened. When I got back to my car I noticed the time and realized it was way too early for that kid to be home from school. I couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation.

No wonder he sounded a bit cocky when he told me that I could keep the $.40 in change. This kid probably faked being sick so he could stay from school and was probably in there watching TV or playing video games while eating sushi and feeling like a big shot.

I know I would’ve at that age.

Not-so-shy-guy

I rang the doorbell and a woman about my age — 23 at the time — opened the door. We were going through the usual exchange of pizza and money, when another woman who appeared to be her mother began walking towards us. “Well if you’re not going to do it, I will,” she said, while at the same time removing her shirt.

I was somewhat taken aback and must have looked confused while keeping eye contact with the young woman who was visibly embarrassed. “Don’t be shy, you can look at them you know,” the mother said.

I glanced down at her boobs, then up to her face and gave a nod of approval. I looked back at the daughter, said thank you and walked back to my car. They tipped well too, so pretty decent delivery if I’m honest.

Note: Stories have been edited for spelling and flow.