The thing about trivia is it’s, well, trivial. Unless they’re cake savants or dairy aficionados, most people aren’t going to care if the decor at Cheesecake Factory looks like the Eye of Sauron. They’ll never ponder the um, sweeter, applications of cheesecake-flavored lube.

Luckily, this list isn’t for other people. It’s for you, reading this website, on National Cheesecake Day, wondering why on earth there’s a National Cheesecake Day, asking who comes up with these food days anyhow, debating whether you should go get some cheesecake later on now that you know the occasion, deciding yeah okay maybe you will, and finally, realizing that even if it wasn’t National Cheesecake Day, you’d still be procrastinating online with something, so you might as well do it with something relevant. Like an article on random cheesecake facts, may haps.

So, without further adieu, may we present this year’s round-up of 11 Mildly Interesting Cheesecake Facts for National Cheesecake Day? (Plus a reminder to grab half off cheesecake slices from The Cheesecake Factory today and tomorrow, because you know it’s way too expensive otherwise.)

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1. Cheesecakes supposedly originated in ancient Greece and were even served to athletes at the first Olympic Games.

Evidence of early cheesecakes can be traced to the Greek island of Samos as far back as 2,000 B.C., though the oldest existing written recipe is credited to Roman politician Marcus Cato around the first century B.C. This version was also called “placenta” because of its resemblance to . . . you know.

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2. “American” cheesecake wasn’t invented ’til the late 1800s.

New York dairyman William Lawrence accidentally invented cream cheese in 1872 while trying to recreate a soft French cheese called Neufchatel. New York-style cheesecake, with its signature simple cream cheese and egg yolks make-up, was later created in the 1900s by German immigrant Arnold Reuben, because these guys say so.

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3. There are other styles of cheesecake besides “New York.”

There’s Pennsylvanian, Philadelphian, Farmer’s, country, Chicagoan, Asian, Australian, German, Italian, Dutch, Greek, Brazilian, Colombian, and probably dozens more, and they all sound pretty incredible. (Tried them before? Let us know in the comments!)

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4. You used to be able to buy cheesecake-flavored postage stamps.

Sure they were from the Austrian Postal service, but Haagen-Dazs still once made flavor-infused stamps which included Cookies & Cream, Macadamia Nut Brittle, and Strawberry Cheesecake. Best part? Zero calories.

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5. The price of ordering the whole Cheesecake Factory cheesecake line-up is almost $400.

Again, because these guys say so. That’s 33 different cakes and a whole lot of self-loathing.

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6. The “World’s Most Expensive” cheesecake isn’t even served at a restaurant.

It comes from Saks Fifth Avenue, and it looks like a pile of Christmas presents, literally. Made from a triple blend of mocha-flavored cheeses and encased in a filigreed chocolate shell, the Festive Two Stack runs $300 per cake. Though, considering how expensive shirts there cost, that’s actually kind of a steal.

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7. A “Cheesecake Shot” consists of vanilla schnapps and cranberry juice.

Yassss Cheesecake Factory happy hour.

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8. Cheesecake Kit Kats exist, and you can actually by them on Amazon Prime.

Here’s the link. You’re welcome.

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9. Blueberry cheesecake lube also exists.

Along with “Natural,” “Passionfruit,” “Kiwi Strawberry,” and “Strawberry Cheesecake,” from sex toy company O’My. According to Cracked, the Blueberry Cheesecake flavor tastes like “sucking the life force from the gelatinous eyeball of an Oompa Loompa.” Not the look.

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10. Other questionable cheesecake “inventions” include garlic-flavored and foie gras-flavored cheesecakes.

We’re assuming these taste more like cream cheese dips than “cake,” which isn’t bad. Just, you know, weird. Here’s a recipe for the garlic version, if you’re so inclined.

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11. The Guy Fieri Cheesecake Challenge in Vegas is a quarter slice of chocolate swirl cheesecake topped with hard pretzels, potato chips, and chocolate syrup.

It costs $12 and honestly, everyone complaining about it in this article is a pansy. There’s also no reward for doing it, except maybe demolishing something that kind of looks like Guy Fieri’s head.

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H/T Cheesecake, Reddit, About, Adverlab, Longest List, Drinks Mixer, Cracked, Serious Eats, Food Reference, Passionate About Food, Fox News, Wiki + PicThx Citrus and Candy, trp0, jpellgen, Billy Wilson, Eliza Adam, Cookin‘ Up Good Times, Julia Usher