Tiny Bacon Houses Are Breaking Our Foodbeast Hearts

Over the years, we’ve made a pretty solid effort to integrate bacon into every part of the human experience. We’ve brought you wearable bacon, sexy-times bacon, alcoholic bacon, sprayable bacon, and solid proof that bacon cures hangovers. The only thing we haven’t managed to do with bacon is live in it . . . which is why we’re so upset over this list of  “bacon houses” that HuffPo put together.

We saw the headline and got all excited about a bacon mansion that we could actually live in (hey, weirder things have happened) but these houses wouldn’t fit a Cabbage Patch doll, let alone the human-sized spouse we imagined carrying across a glorious bacon threshold. These aren’t bacon houses. These are carefully constructed piles of bacon failure. And we never say the words “failure” and “bacon” in the same sentence.

We fantasize about a day when some of these houses will be a full-sized reality, but until that day we’ll be forced to accept these pint-sized substitutions. At least sausage Baby Jesus looks happy.

H/T + PicThx HuffPo