This Bacon-Scented Spray is the Perfect Vegan Repellent

If there’s one thing we know about the smell of bacon, it’s that everyone loves the smell of bacon. In fact, if you ever meet someone who claims not to love the smell of bacon, chances are they’re possessed by evil vegans not someone you want to be around anyway . . . which is why this bacon-scented spray freshener from the scent-savvy folks over at McPhee is so perfect.

The next time a hemp-clad hipster in a PETA hat tries to make you feel bad about your food choices, just send a single squirt of this stuff their way and they’ll run for the hills — leaving you to happily enjoy your bacon-wrapped hamburger in harmony. And if it repels vegans, you bet your bacon-scented buttocks that it attracts like-minded carnivores. Spraying this stuff basically guarantees that you’ll be surrounded by people who love bacon just as much as you do, which sounds a lot like our version of a perfect world.

Bacon Spray Freshener $7.57 @ McPhee