Ways NOT to Cook Your Turkey [COMIC]

Thanksgiving is now just days away, and many of you out there will be cooking a turkey for the first time. Even for seasoned vets, the task of cooking an entire turkey for a table of hungry mouths can be an intimidating one. One of the most trusted source of information for cooking turkey during the months of November and December is the Butterball-sponsored Turkey Talk-Line.

FOODBEAST had the chance to interview Alice, a supervisor for the Turkey Talk-Line, and has been answering turkey questions for the last 15 years. Pre-requisites for the hotline includes 2-3 weeks of training, including the actual preparation of turkeys with the various cooking methods they answer questions for. The 9 cooking methodologies include: grilling, open pan, covered pan, deep frying, electric roaster, brining, frozen turkey thawed and cooked, microwaving, and countertop roaster.

Before we get into the 3 weirdest phone calls Alice has ever answered on the Turkey Talk-Line, we’ll cover the answers to the 4 most frequently asked questions about preparing a Turkey.

Q: How long does it take to thaw a Turkey?

A: 1 day for every 4lbs OR 30 minutes per pound in cold water.

Q: How big of a Turkey should I purchase?

A: A pound and a half of turkey weight per person. This allows everyone to have a generous portion and leftovers for sandwiches and chili.

Q: When is the Turkey done?

A: Recommend using a meat thermometer. The thigh should be 180 degrees, stuffing should be 165 degrees in the center, and the breast should be 170 degrees.

Q: What’s the best way to store Turkey leftovers?

A: Take all the meat off the bone and store in the fridge for the rest of Thanksgiving weekend. If you want Turkey after the weekend, freeze the meat not used for sandwiches. The turkey will last up to 2 months.

And finally, here are the 3 ways NOT to cook your turkey – some of the weirdest calls Alice has ever received in her 15 year career…

1. If I’m cooking a turkey while traveling across time-zones in a recreational vehicle, will the Turkey cook an hour faster?

2. Is there anyway I can save my turkey if I accidentally pushed the ‘Clean’ button instead of ‘Bake’? My fiancee and parents are coming over for dinner in a few hours. 

3. Our turkey looks awful. We needed it to defrost faster, so we threw it in the dryer. But now the plastic is all melted. What can we do?