If Alcohol Labels Told the Truth, They’d Look a Little Something Like This

You’re at a grocery store and you have to make a decision. Will you stay at home, crying about your ex with Netflix and Moscato? Or head out with the girls for an “I’ll hold your hair back if you hold mine” sesh after one too many vodka-Red Bulls?

Total Sorority Move drafted a series of tongue-in-cheek alcohol bottles renamed for what they should actually be called. We’re talking “Crying Alone” moscato, “Sugar” Malibu Rum, and “Vomit Everywhere” Jager. Granted, while some labels like “Dancing on Tablés” tequila are spot on, others like “Blackout” Fireball come off as a little generic.

Check out more of our favorites below, and feel free to enjoy with a can of “Super Deep V” PBR.

honest-alcohol-4 honest-alcohol-3 honest-alcohol-2 honest-alcohol-1

 

honest-alcohol-5

H/T Imgur

More content

Products
Snoop Dogg Will Pay You $10K A Month To Taste Ice Cream
Finding out that Snoop Dogg has a family-owned ice cream company and is currently looking for an official ice cream taste tester was not on…
,
Culture
Craig Robinson Reveals Just How Much Food Actors Get On TV Sets
Craig Robinson is someone you know, even if you weren’t paying attention to his memorably hilarious and zany characters in classic shows like The Office…
,
Products
Cinnamon Toast Crunch Is Getting A ‘Swicy’ Chamoy Makeover
This might be the most unexpected fusion-ha! of 2026. Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Chamoy Mega, the #1 chamoy brand in the U.S. and Mexico, are…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox