Here’s How To Make Your Own Graduation Cap Flask

I don’t want to graduate college, though it’s probably not for the reason you’re thinking. No, as exciting as the job market looks for journalism majors, the truth is, I just don’t want to sit through the ceremony. I have a whole mountain’s worth of things I would rather do than sit through that god-awful ceremony. (A relaxing day at Disneyland comes to mind, as does taxidermy. And bocce ball.)

Of course, when I brought the idea of skipping out up to my parents, they looked at me with such horror that I might as well have said I thought Tabasco tasted better than Sriracha.

So I decided to do something else about it. I decided to put a flask in my cap.

CAPFLASKGUIDE

After four years, I’m sure the last thing anyone wants to do is bear another 2-hour long lecture, listening to speakers we couldn’t care less about, sitting next to classmates we’ve never met and probably won’t ever see again. I swear, every time someone mentions their “fear of the unknown” and “excitement for the future” and the possibility of “new opportunities,” a future Einstein or Mother Theresa out there dies. Seriously guys, stahp.

Luckily, the process for making this thing is painless enough. Just pop off the top button with a pair of pliers, Velcro in the bladder (I took mine out of the Wine Rack Bra), secure the whole mess with bobby pins and drink up.

There’s not much you can do about tedious (and, arguably, arbitrary) traditions. But hey, at least you won’t have to be all “there” to remember it.

CAPFLASKGUIDE2

DISCLAIMER: This is for graduates of legal drinking age. 

More content

Products
Thanksgiving Miracle? Butterball Unveils Turkey You Can Roast Straight From Frozen
With Thanksgiving just around the corner, Butterball is shaking up holiday prep with the launch of their new Cook from Frozen Premium Whole Turkey. Designed…
,
Products
Claussen Pickles Previews ‘Just the Brine’ Concept Drink, Inspired by Dua Lipa’s Viral Creation
Dua Lipa can now add “culinary innovator” to her resume, pulling it off in under a minute with just five ingredients. In early October, she…
,
Culture
Top Chefs Unite to Create Edibles Highlighting Palestinian Ingredients
When communities unite to support those in need, they often bring out extraordinary levels of creativity and solidarity. No matter where you’re from, the instinct…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox