Bacon Pocky Sticks, Because Everything Else Was Already Taken

I don’t know if it’s just that foreign palates are more adventurous, or maybe just foreign marketing teams are, but for some reason every other country gets better flavored things than we do. I mean, milk tea Pocky? Cream cheese Pocky?

And here we are, “greatest nation in the world,” and the best we can think to cover our already-boring cracker sticks with is bacon-flavored salt.

Granted, I’m probably still going to go out and buy some, but couldn’t you have at least dipped them in bacon-flavored cream instead? I mean come on, I might as well just drive to the grocery, head to the meat section, buy myself some plain old bacon and eat that but ain’t nobody got time for that.