Thanksgiving Panic? Beer Cheese Balls, Turkey Cocktails & More for the Last-Minute Chef

If you’re like me, then you’re a 20-something adult trying to hold onto your kid status for as long as you can — when in reality, you’re closer to 30 and people actually expect you to contribute to holiday meals now. If you’re really like me, then you tend to procrastinate until the last possible second, until you realize you’re screwed. Hey, I feel your pain. Don’t stress though, I’ve gone ahead and compiled a few recipes to compliment any turkey dinner (unless someone put you in charge of cooking the turkey, then forget it). Bonus points — in 15 minutes or less, these yummy creations will make you look like you actually took the time to care!

1. Cheddar, Bacon, and  Beer Cheese Ball — You’ve been given a gift, and it’s called, “Just bring an appetizer!” The appetizer has to be the least intimidating dish to create, and you’ll be out the door in no time if you have the following ingredients: cream cheese, beer, cheddar, and bacon. If you ever cook breakfast, make microwave nachos, or are just plain human, you’ll probably have all of these things. Beat and stir everything in a bowl, throw in a few extra things to spice it up, then form a ball, cover it in crisp bacon and refrigerate for as long as you can manage so that the ball retains it’s shape. DONEZO.

2. Skillet Scalloped Corn — I know- it sounds kinda fancy, but that’s because I like to be tricky. For this side dish, main ingredients include: crackers (which you should probably have to go with that awesome cheese ball you just made), canned corn, peppers, and Swiss cheese. Grab a skillet, throw in a little milk and the other ingredients until the cheese melts, and top with browned cracker crumbs. Ermahgerd, you’re Wolfgang Puck.

3. Lazy Pumpkin Pie — Time to get your fat pants on, it’s the dessert round! I realize that at this time of year, pumpkin pie might be a bit overdone. When the recipe is this simple though, how could you not want to make it? What you’ll need: one can of pumpkin pie mix, instant vanilla pudding mix, Cool Whip, graham cracker crust. Seriously, that’s it. Mix it all up, fold in the Cool Whip, and POW- instant pie y’all. Stick in the fridge for later, or eat it with a spatula now. You know I don’t judge.

4. Pass the Turkey Cocktail — Okay, so this might be taking the easy way out, but if you’re really pressed for time, no one hates the guy that brings the booze! Combine bourbon, apple cider, and cranberry jelly, steal some thyme or sage from the turkey for garnish and you may as well start dressing like an old-timey hipster mixologist. Serve up a whole pitcher of this stuff and watch your great aunt get wasted. Presto- best holiday ever! You can thank me later.