Here’s the World’s Most Expensive Cup of Coffee, Straight from an Elephant’s Butt

How would you like your coffee this morning: decaf or defecated?

Believe it or not, this may very well be a real question being asked of guests at Thailand’s luxury Anantara hotels, whose line of “$68 per serving” Black Ivory Coffee is brewed from beans which have literally been hand-picked out of elephant dung.

According to the resort’s release, “Research indicates that during digestion, the enzymes of the elephant break down coffee protein. Since protein is one of  the main factors responsible for bitterness in coffee, less protein means almost no bitterness.”

The whole poop-to-platter process goes like this: first the elephants, which live at the group’s elephant camp in Chiang Rai, are fed premium Thai Arabica cherries. Then, after trekking through the elephant’s long digestive track, the resulting protein and bitter-free beans are handpicked out, left to dry and finally, sent to the camp’s processing center for refinement and delivery to any of the group’s four Maldive or one Golden Triangle Thailand locations.

According to one CNN GO commenter Garrett, the resulting brew’s taste “was really pleasant and unexpected” and contained palpable hints of chocolate, nuts and red berries. It was also “one of the first” cups he could drink black.

Guests who order this stuff will also get the added luxury of having their coffee beans hand ground and brewed at the table, but come on–who wouldn’t want their very own cup of magically delicious elephant droppings? And eight percent of proceeds goes back to the Golden Triangle Asian Elephant Foundation?

Shut up and take my money.