Why Tabasco Is – and Always Will Be – Better than Sriracha

April 25, 2013 // 1:09 pm

In which Tabasco is a dapper, crotchety old gentleman and Sriracha is a hip and trendy cock.

_______________

Okay folks, let’s rap. More precisely, let’s rap about Sriracha.

Picthx NPR

Sriracha is one of those internet-famous things, like bacon and memes, that everyone knows

…

Why Twizzlers Are — And Always Will Be — Better Than Red Vines

March 8, 2013 // 2:51 pm

I’m done hearing people argue over whether Red Vines or Twizzlers is the better candy. I’ve known that Twizzlers were superior from the moment I spat out a mouthful of vile, waxy, red goo and my mom asked me, “What, you don’t like Red Vines?” The answer is no.…