Report

Simpsons Theme Park Will Feature Krusty Burger & Serve Duff Beer

May 24, 2013 // 5:45 pm

Let me sum up this article in five words: There will be Duff Beer.

Other than that, yes, Universal Orlando will be building a real-life Springfield — the hometown of America’s most endearing animated family (Full House? Get outta here). The new outdoor attraction will include the actual restaurants,…

Study Says Hipster’s PBR Obsession is Driving Up Cheap Beer Prices

May 23, 2013 // 12:38 pm

Turns out, that kid sipping PBR while waxing poetic about Nietzsche and existential nihilism is to blame for driving up prices of cheap beer. According to a study by food research group Restaurant Sciences, the popularity of Pabst Blue Ribbon may be the reason low-cost beers such as Budweiser, Miller Lite and…

Amy’s Baking Company’s Grand Re-Opening; Co-Owner Samy Faces Deportation

May 22, 2013 // 1:00 pm

I want to begin by saying: I cannot make this sh*t up. As Amy’s Baking Company enjoys the apparent success of last night’s “Grand Re-Opening,” co-owner Samy Bouzaglo faces possible deportation.

Last Tuesday night curious spectators milled outside Amy’s Baking Company in Scottsdale, Arizona. Security guards…

So Apparently Nutella Hates Free Publicity, Issues Cease and Desist to Founder of ‘World Nutella Day’

May 22, 2013 // 6:00 am

Okay guys, this whole “Nutella” thing has gone far enough. Nutella Red Velvet Cinnamon Rolls, Nutella S’more Pulls, Nutella Thieves? Who asked you all to like this stuff so much anyway? Not Ferrero, the parent company behind the sweet hazelnut chocolate spread, apparently. They don’t even…

Dominos Pizza Makes Smell-O-Vision a Reality

May 21, 2013 // 10:27 am

It’s official. 2013 will forever be known as the year smell-o-vision became a reality, and to think it wasn’t some fancy scientist who figured it out. It was a freaking pizza place.

Dominos Brazil teamed up with local video rental stores to devise a genius advertising strategy: When the…

Church Gives Away Chick-Fil-A Gift Cards to Married, Heterosexual Couples

May 20, 2013 // 3:50 pm

This past Sunday, May 19th, a church located in Ohio offered $25 Chick-fil-A gift cards to every married, “husband and wife” couple. The advertisement (above) promoting this event was posted in a Dayton newspaper and lead with the headline “A Day to Honor Biblical Marriage.”

It should be noted that…

Elderly Farmer Ordered to Pay Monsanto $84,000 for Planting Unlabeled Monsanto Soybeans

May 14, 2013 // 5:23 pm

Pro tip: If you’re an elderly small-time soybean farmer, make sure you’re really, really careful not to piss off huge GMO-based companies like Monsanto. That’s a lesson that 76-year-old Indiana farmer Vernon Bowman probably wishes he’d learned before a lawsuit from Monsanto went all the way to the…

New Sustainability Ranking System Shows You How to Save the World by Eating

May 14, 2013 // 8:00 am

We remember the days before big chains like McDonald’s and Starbucks pledged to make sustainability a top priority, back when “organic” was the only health-food buzzword people cared about and using “sustainability” in a sentence usually meant we’d have to define it at least once*. But things…