Your relationship with your iPhone is an incredibly intimate thing. On any given day, you spend countless minutes stroking its screen, murmuring commands into its ear, pressing it against your cheek, and tucking it into your back pocket (or even your bra).  You’d like to think that you and your iPhone have something special, something real. Turns out you’re wrong, and your iPhone would just as soon replace you with a mushroom.

Apparently, the iPhone touch screen responds just as well to the touch of a mushroom as to a human finger. Don’t ask us how (or why) someone made that particular discovery, but it’s not exactly surprising. After all, fingers are a lot like mushrooms: firm, springy, and delicious when sauteed in butter and garlic. Just kidding.

Personally, I don’t let fungi come between me and the things I love. I’ll still adore my iPhone no matter how many shiitake mushrooms it’s been groped by, but if you and your iPhone are looking to add a third party to your relationship, the folks over at Rocketnews24 recommend “getting the smallest mushroom you can find.” Size envy is a real thing, y’all, and the last thing you want is some portobello rolling in and stealing your technology.

H/T Rocketnews24

Erika GrantTwitterFacebook

Erika Grant is an Orange County native in a long-distance relationship with the Bay Area. She's enthusiastic about all things vegan/vegetarian, has cheese dreams on the regular that make it difficult to commit to the vegan lifestyle, and gets obscenely excited about avocados in anything.