On paper, food colognes should make a lot of sense. Food smells good. Perfumes and colognes also smell good. So why is it that every time I try to imagine a sushi-scented cologne, I get dizzy and seasick and want to tell someone to make better life decisions?

Oh right. Because they’d smell like fish.

But if you’re totally fine with pissing everyone off within a 3 foot radius, this Sushi cologne by Demeter has apparently been around for a while now. Which shouldn’t be too surprising, considering their scent repertoire includes such concoctions as Dirt, Crayon and Laundromat. But it’s still bizarre enough to warrant a capital WTF. Question mark. Exclamation point. Exclamation point. Question mark.

And okay, so according to the cologne’s website, “Sushi” doesn’t actually smell like fish per se, consisting instead of “just cooked sticky rice and straight from the seaside seaweed, laced with hints of ginger and lemon essences.” But anything outside of a Japanese restaurant that reminds me I’m not currently eating sushi is still enough to be annoying.

For shame madam, for shame.

Demeter 4 oz. Sushi Cologne: $20 @ Amazon

Dominique ZamoraTwitterFacebook

Dominique would be a foodie if she had money to pay for food. For now, she gets by just looking at food photography, which results in at least one more starving journalism student every time Instagram breaks down.