It’s the heart of the summer fair season, and one of the questions I get asked every day is, “Dude, I’m at the fair right now…what should I eat?”

Everyone is different. Some folks want the casually calm fair experience: nibble on a churro, maybe try a foreign delicacy, and catch the subtle nuances of a pig race. Seriously, pig races are a real thing — shout out to the super fast Natalie Porkman, the cutest pig around.

For us, the fair only comes to our area once a year. It’s our civic duty to eat like food is going out of style, drink like the world’s drying up, and pretend that our arteries are malleable tubes that will never feel the ramifications of a 4 pound turkey leg wrapped head-to-bone in bacon.

So when our friends at clothing brand Young & Reckless asked us, “Yo man, we’re heading down to the Orange County Fair, what should we eat?”

Instead of pointing them to our recap of Fair Food Instagram photos, or telling them to read the article our writer wrote up about awesome foods to check out at the OC Fair, we hit back, “F-ck it, we’ll just come with you.”

What resulted is a how-to, instructional video of sorts, of all the popular deep-fried fatty food you should try at the fair and how to have a blast doing so. Not a single food gets left unturned. Everything from Deep Fried Klondike Bars, Oreos, Cereal to Bacon, Frog Legs, 3,000+ calorie Turkey Legs and Deep Fried PB&J Sandwiches.

Here’s how to eat food at your local fair, like a BOSS:

Elie AyrouthTwitterFacebook

Elie is a product of Orange County, CA. In early 2012, his dentist diagnosed him with 8 different cavities, three of which on the same tooth, as a result of his 23-year Sour Patch Kid addiction.