Cheez-It Weaponry — Woman Hospitalized After Being Attacked With Cheese Crackers
Happy Monday, here’s the story of how a wife was hospitalized after her husband attacked her with Cheez-Its.
We’ve all been there. Your spouse/significant other ditches you on Earth Day for some lame concert – leaving you home alone with the baby and the dog. Then your favorite sports team loses. By the largest margin in sports history.
And when that person comes back with a big grin on their face after you’ve been put through hell, you try to stop yourself from grabbing that emergency Cheez-It box duct taped under the dinner table. But you just can’t stop yourself. Don’t worry, apparently you’re not the only one using Cheez-It crackers as ninja stars.
Palm Bay, Florida resident Andy Gatz (really, a last name like that and you didn’t use a gun?) confronted his wife about the concert and sent a cracker straight into her right eye, sending her to the hospital.
First of all, if that’s what he meant to do – congratulations on being one of the top cracker-throwers of all time. Although, I would like to know the distance of the throw first before considering admittance to the cracker hall of fame. Secondly, I wonder if Gatz meant to throw Cheez-Its, or if the box was the object right next to him when his top blew off. Whatever the case maybe, stay tuned for the follow up story that hopefully is titled: Divorced Cheez-It Thrower Charged With Assault and Battery.
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