Penis Pasta

Yes, you’re reading right. Every bowl of Penis Pasta will legitimately credit your body with 7 grams of protein, 188 calories and 1 gram of fat. Advertised as “perfect for bachelorette parties”, but just as perfect for every-day use (if you like downing penis for lunch; that’s what she said). In reality, this pasta is completely legitimate, made with “the finest durum wheat” and comes with a recipe for “Big Balls, with Steamy Sauce and Penis Pasta”. NOT MADE FROM PENIS, JUST SHAPED LIKE IT. ($10 @ FredFlare)