Science Makes Groundbreaking Discovery that Beer Pong Violates the 5-Second Rule
Thank goodness for rocket scientists — without them we may have never discovered that the seemingly innocuous game of beer pong is a cesspool teeming with bacteria. And by “rocket scientists” we mean a group of Clemson University student researchers who ran around their campus last fall, snatched beer pong balls during parties and tested them for signs of contamination.
If the term “Beer Pong” sounds like a drunkard’s attempt to create a legitimate sport (you’re right) or you’ve been out of college for a minute, here’s a refresher: Beer Pong is played by throwing ping pong balls across a folding banquet table and landing them into red Solo cups filled with beer (usually of the
aged cat piss Bud variety). Whenever a ball lands in a cup, the opponent must drink said cat piss and proceed to get properly sloshed.
Of course, those ping pong balls always find their way under dusty couches, sticky frat house floors and the deep recesses of your typical dorm room. That being said, it’s a shocker that the students found salmonella, listeria, E. coli and staph on the ping pong balls they collected, their study showing a “high level of bacteria transferred to the beer when balls went into cups.”
Although, before you start bringing Lysol to every house party, know that ninety percent of bacteria is usually harmless. At least, that’s according to Clemson food science professor Paul Dawson, who then proceeds to remind us that “by virtue of sheer numbers, you’re taking a chance of getting sick.”
Well, whaddya know ’bout that? Take this as a friendly reminder to use water instead of actual beer, duh, and to take swigs from your own individual drinks. That or #YOLO. Sorry, that was customary.
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