California Bars to Finally Start Serving Alcohol After Two in the Morning?
I’m fully supportive of any piece of legislation that will
get me drunk in the wee hours of the morning support the Californian economy, which is why California Senator Mark Leno has just become my new personal hero with the introduction of a new bill that would allow Californian bars and restaurants to serve alcohol until 4 a.m. Current California law forbids bars and restaurants to serve alcoholic beverages after the clock strikes two — a full two hours earlier than the cutoff times for other major cities like New York City and Chicago. Leno argues that keeping California bars open (and serving) for longer would allow cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego to start “expanding nightlife [and] boosting jobs, tourism, and local tax revenue.”
Alcohol consumption is a very important part of a thriving economy, y’all. So if this bill passes and you find yourself at a bar at 3 a.m. drunkenly serenading your companions with an off-key rendition of “My Heart Will Go On,” just remember—you’re not doing it for them. You’re not doing it for yourself. You’re not even doing it for Celine Dion. You’re doing it to save the economy. And God bless America.
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