Everyone has their suggestions on what Taco Bell should stuff in their burritos, now here are ours.

Fast food brands have been in a oneupsmanship contest for several years now. For some time, KFC held the crown, there were moments of shining light for Carl’s Jr., and for the moment, the crown seems to rest on Taco Bell’s crazy head.

Hot off the release of their Doritos Locos Taco earlier this year, the brand has just announced the launch of a Beefy Nacho Burrito. While many have overlooked the fact that the burrito isn’t much different than previous offerings that have come before (note: Beefy Crunch Burrito), it is still being received with a similar jaw-dropping reception.

For some, the apocalypse is upon us; for fans of fast food and disciples of the Taco Bell regime, you have a food boner the size of a Pringles can at the sheer thought of Taco Bell’s next burrito invention.

Get your food condoms ready! Also, Taco Bell, if we see any of these on your menu in the future, we expect a fat royalty check. Actually, scratch that…only give us credit for #8, our Research and Development was up for weeks with no sleep on it.

So Taco Bell, here you go. These are 10 things you should seriously consider putting into your next burrito:

1. Pizza

I’m actually surprised that this item isn’t available yet. There are a fair amount of Taco Bell buildings that share a storefront with their fellow Yum! corporate brand Pizza Hut, so the kitchen setup is already there. Imagine an oozing burrito of beans, cheese, tomato sauce, more cheese and pepperoni chunks.

Sounds like a bathroom break waiting to happen, but let’s be honest, doesn’t a Cheesy Pepperoni Burrito just sound awesome?

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2. Popcorn Chicken

The thought of popcorn chicken, nacho cheese, ground beef and maybe…Flamin’ Hot Cheetos wrapped into a warm tortilla is getting me all hot and bothered. Much like the Pizza Burrito listed above, Taco Bell often also shares a roof with fellow Yum! brand Kentucky Fried Chicken, so they wouldn’t even need to cross a street to get a hold of a few kernels of chicken.

Someone pass a bit of barbecue sauce to drizzle over this badboy. Trust me, you’ll cherish every bite. Maybe we’ll call it the Popcorn Chicken Burrito? Or better yet, the Colonel Bell Sanders.

Yeah, the Colonel Bell Sanders.

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3. Bacon, Lots of It

I’m not talking about a few bits of bacon that are barely recognizable from an undercooked bean. I’m talking about an Epic Meal Time amount of bacon stuffed into a burrito. The kind that has a cross section when you split the burrito in half. The kind that makes the burrito feel like a bag of wrenches wrapped in a hand towel. The kind of bacon that sends you from the first bite, right through the emergency room, and into the afterlife looking down (or up) at yourself as you finish that last, deadly bite.

Bacon has been proven to stir up the media. You want exposure, add bacon. Denny’s did it. Burger King did it. It’s time for you to do it too, Taco Bell.

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4. Cinnamon Twists

It’s time for a hefty dessert Taco Bell, and what better way than taking an image of one of your core products, and reinterpreting it as a dessert?

The chocolate taco has already been done, but we’re thinking more along the lines of a dessert burrito. Stuff it with cinnamon twists, hit it with some caramel, chocolate, maybe even some strawberry puree or something. I wouldn’t even be mad at a layer of flan cake, Cinnabon, or donuts wrapped in a chocolate or a cinnamon dusted tortilla.

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5. Bull Testicles

A Bull Testicle Burrito from Taco Bell? Talk about headlines!

You’ll get the front page of Reddit, you’ll be on Twitter’s trending topics for days, and you’ll win an unofficial sponsorship on Fear Factor when they start using your burritos in the ‘ridiculous eats’ portion of their reality show.

Also, think of all the wordplay possible! Bull Testicles are a delicacy in many cultures, and are often referred to as “cowboy caviar”, “Montana tendergroins”, “dusted nuts”, “bull fries”, and my personal favorite: “swinging beef”.

Call in to your corporate Taco Bell, let’s get these balls on the menu! I don’t feel too comfortable downing testicles in their raw form while driving to work, but I would have no problem chomping on them if they were held together with beans, rice, cheese and a warm tortilla. Game, on!

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6. Real Street Tacos

<insert Nike slogan here>

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7. Gyro Meat

Anyone who has ever had a Gyro, or a Gyro Breakfast burrito, can attest to the euphoria traditionally associated with every bite. Imagine a tortilla encasing gyro meat, nacho cheese, onions, tomatoes and tzatziki sauce.

On the marketing end, just enlist the services of Uncle Jesse. I’m sure girls will swoon over him eating a burrito, much like they did when he was spooning bites of Oikos yogurt.

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8. Sour Patch Kids