Yeah... Apparently, this is a thing. Teens are utilizing a new method of getting their drink on by taking the actual drinking out of the equation. I really am at a loss for words when I try to express how I feel about this. I can safely say that I don't understand the world anymore -- especially young people and their new rectal crazes.

The scary part about this, if it's truly as wide-spread as the report makes it out to be, it seems that some males are infusing alcohol into their system in a similar fashion, through their anus. Yes. Through the vagina, and through the anus, it's going straight into the blood stream without any of the gag reflex involved with consuming alcohol through the mouth.

This sounds like a terrible satire piece, but it's not. Apparently kids think they'll pass breathalyzers and hide being drunk from their parents, but law enforcement reminds them that it doesn't matter how you consumed the alcohol, it will show up on a breathalyzer.

And females, letting alcohol soak in your special area can't be good for you. As for the males, if you're sticking alcohol through that hole, we probably have an entire host of issues we should discuss at length: